Covenant of Love :: Strengthening the Church One Marriage at a Time

Many couples are entering marriage today with unhealthy relational skills that years ago were first taught by parents, then experienced through community. It was never God's design for His children to figure out how to develop a healthy marriage without the help and support of others. Yet, the culture we now live in seems to welcome isolation.

Since 1999, The Alexander House has invested countless hours working with couples in a Marriage Coaching environment. This work has served as a "field-test" for the process that has been identified and used. This process has enriched and/or restored literally hundreds of Christian marriages. Due to the numerous calls received by The Alexander House from couples whose marriages are in trouble and who have found no assistance from their local parish; it now sees the need to have its marriage coaching efforts duplicated in a mentor training program called the Marriage Disciples.

Still in development, The Marriage Disciples is a parish-based Peer-to-Peer ministry created so that it can train other couples to successfully mentor couples using the mentoring process that has been developed. The Marriage Disciples will consist of a group of couples from the parish, hand selected, to serve those who are preparing for marriage, marriage enrichment and those who are experiencing difficulties in their marriage. These Marriage Disciples are not counselors but lay people trained to work in a peer-to-peer ministry that will offer mentoring, prayer support for their couples and give them hope and encouragement in their vocation through the vision of God’s plan for marriage. Providing outreach to marriages in their own parish community will be rewarding for both the mentors and the couples seeking support. The Marriage Disciples will be marketed publicly but we anticipate a large number of parishes adopting this program as another ministry offered through the Covenant of Love Marriage Ministry.

A selection process will be incorporated to identify couples who would make good Marriage Disciples. The couples selected will go through a three-phase training program that will consist of a basic understanding of the theology of marriage, life skills, and the mechanics of mentoring with other couples. This will be a 30-hour process. The training will be conducted by the Alexander House Staff via a web-based training format.

Because our philosophy is, "A marriage will not become what God desires until the husband and wife learn why He created marriage," the first session will consist of understanding God's plan for marriage and focusing specifically on the sacramental nature of marriage. The Marriage Disciple will continue with the process and follow up the second through fifth session with Forgiveness and Healing, Emotional Needs, God's plan for Chastity, Communication and Spirituality in marriage. These sessions will teach couples how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict, develop a healthy attitude about sex, understand how to be a helpmate by ministering to each other's emotional needs; and all from a Biblical perspective coupled with Church Teaching.

The Catholic Church must be applauded for having those who practice the faith participate in some type of marriage preparation. However, we have failed the couples by not allowing them to have some sort of marriage enrichment available, specifically at the parish, and better yet, to have a couple assigned to them to minister to them in a person-to-person arena. As couples mature in their marriage, they are going to encounter situations and ordeals that will challenge them and they need a resource to help show them how to negotiate these issues; and the Marriage Disciples will fulfill this great need.